HELP FATHER

Before children, we explore only the grown-up world of responsibility and achievements. Maternity grounds that to a screeching halt. The joy of motherhood comes with 120 hour caffeine free workweeks, all unpaid, and no one cares about your day-even if they are around to ask. We begin climbing the parental learning curve, pushing aside our ambitions, and focus on nurturing, slowing down and living in the moment. It comes as a surprise to find that we could feel necessary, even smart; we are everything to these babies. Perhaps it is sleep deprivation, but the sweet softness of their drowsy faces never fails to make our heart lurch.
When we tried to snatch a moment of life, outside their room, we feel guilty for not thinking about them. When we take our children, for their first lesson in skating or swimming, they cling to us and ask us to stay with them. But upon the insurrection of the instructor we turn our back on our children and walk to the stands while they stand there alone, crushed.” What kind of mother ignores her child’s tears?” we chide ourselves. But they are okay, and let them make it on their own. We can see that, by their second lesson, they fly past us, waving.
As the children grow up, where once we were pulled, now we feel that we are being pushed away. And we have to figure out how to be okay with it. Whether or not they need us, a part of our heart will always be facing their direction, watching, never sleeping. Motherhood is built on the age old conflict of holding tight and letting go at the same time. Children pull us with their needs, then push us away. We are drawn to nurture, and are repelled by the grinding demands.